Zipper Trouble on a New Years Eve
by Rollingsushi
Summary: New Year Sales at Junes! And Teddie seems to have become an even bigger handful to poor Yosuke. What happens when Teddie's costume becomes a pain in everyone's ass? All hell breaks loose, that's what. Written for New Years. Happy New Years guys :


Warning: Sexual undertones. It's mostly for gag though so don't take it too seriously.

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Persona 4

Zipper Trouble on a New Years Eve

It was New Years Eve and Junes was having a massive stocktake sale. A huge crowd was lined up in front of the department store, ready to take advantage of the '20% off' sales and the 'buy three, get one for half price' sales. Children were lined up with their free balloons and cheap lollies that were just hours before their expiry dates. The local school band was busy setting up on the veranda and preparing to perform a few amateur pieces for the crowd. Some part-timers were handing out flyers but they were generally ignored. A few more minutes and the doors would open…

"Yargh! Yosuke! Help!"

The brunet scowled at the bumbling fool of a bear. It was just way too early for any of Teddie's ridiculous whims. There were more important things to worry about than the bear, like making sure everything in the store was neatly stacked and ready to be sold. But no. Yosuke had to make the fatal mistake of answering the bear.

"What is it, Ted? It better be important."

"Geh, I can't get the zipper to go all the way." He gasped. "M-my hair! It's caught in the zip! Grawrr…"

Yep, it was way too early in the morning for this. Yosuke sighed and pulled the bear away from the other workers. He led him to a secluded corner and tugged on the bear's zip. "How the hell did you get your hair stuck in this?" He pulled harder on the zipper and Teddie let out a shrill scream.

"My haiiiiirrrr!"

"Shhhhh! Shut up."

"You pulled too hard! It felt like my hair was gonna get torn from my head! Gosh, it's no wonder you can't pick up girls. You're not gentle at all."

"Ted, if you value more than just your hair then I suggest you to shut the hell up." He tugged a few more times but stopped when he heard the bear start to whimper. "God, Teddie. If you're just gonna cry like that, I'm not gonna help you."

"Nooo~! You gotta fix the zip or I can't show myself in front of all those kids! I'm their favourite mascot, Yosuke!"

"I'm gonna make it hurt if you don't shut up."

"Noo, don't make it unbearable for the bear! Nyehhh…"

_Stupid puns. They're not even funny. _"Alright! I'm gonna pull with all my strength so you better not cry." With one powerful tug, the strand of hair was freed and Yosuke could zip the rest of the bear's head on. "There, you happy?"

"My head hurts…"

Yosuke ignored the annoying thing and headed for the entrance. It was time for the doors to open.

* * *

It wasn't long until the whole of the store was filled with the locals of Inaba. Shelves of appliances were clearing faster than Yosuke had first anticipated. The brunet wandered around, looking for those in need for some assistance. As long as they weren't dressed up in a bear suit then he was happy to help them. He turned a corner and bumped into a child.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there."

"Hey, you're big bro's friend." When he saw the familiar figure look up in surprise, Yosuke peered down and smiled.

"Nanako! Oh, hey. It's been a while. What's up? How's Seta doing?"

"He's doing fine. I'm actually here to get him something."

"I see…so are you here on your own?"

"My dad's somewhere in the crowd. He's looking for a new futon for the house. What about you? Are you here to buy something?"

He chuckled sheepishly and shook his head. "I actually work here."

"Wow! Really?" Nanako's eyes lit up with interest. "I love Junes! It's my favourite place to shop! Every day's great at your Junes~!"

"Haha, that's good news for us then. Well, you have fun while you're here then. If you need any help, just call for me. Later."

"I will. Bye!" The little girl scampered off. Yosuke turned to walk away as well but when he heard the voice of a particular annoying bear, he walked just a little faster. Nanako's voice wasn't that far from him when she spoke. "Oh! Hi Teddie!"

"Nanako! What a pleasant surprise."

Their voices were soon drowned out by the incoming crowd and Yosuke could no longer hear them. The brunet took a quick glance over his shoulder and all hope of running away from Teddie was lost when Nanako's finger was pointed towards his direction.

_Nooo! What are you doing Nanako! I don't want to deal with that stupid bear!_

"Yosuke! There you are!" Teddie waddled over to his side. "I had a feeling you were avoiding me for some reason but I guess it was just me, eh?"

"What do you want?" It took him effort to refrain from ridiculing the bear. He couldn't do it when so many people were around. It would give him a bad name and it would jeopardise the business. "I'm busy so if it can wait…"

"Oh, you're never busy! I'm the one that's been busy! You have no idea how much of a handful the kids can be! I'm telling you, if you wanna marry, you better be prepared to put up with children if your wife can _bear_ them. Haha, get it? But then again, in your case you'd have to score with a chick first. You can worry about that marriage thing another day."

Yosuke could feel his eye twitch. _Ohhh, the damn bear is seriously asking for it!_ "Look, Ted. If you have nothing important to say to me then go away. I'm a busy guy." He took a step away from the annoying thing but the bear tugged onto his sleeve.

"W-wait! I need your help again! I need to go to the bathroom!"

"What? Since when did you ever need to go to the bathroom?"

"Since now! You gotta show me the way! I don't wanna pee my pants!"

_Boy, is this nostalgic._ "Alright, fine." The teenager led the bear away from the crowd, though it didn't stop the children from staring at their 'favourite' mascot. Tch! Ever since he agreed to take Teddie in, there's been nothing but trouble, and for some miraculous reason, the damn bear had gotten so much more popular than him.

"Stupid bear."

"Huh? Did you say something, Yosuke?"

"No," he blatantly lied. "Anyway, the staff bathroom's through this door. It's kinda small but deal with it. The other bathrooms are packed." Teddie opened the door and walked into the small stall. He then tried to unzip the head of his costume but to no avail.

"Wahhhhh~! It's stuck again!"

"Shhhh, not so loud!" Yosuke grimaced. "Hang on, I'm coming in."

"But it's too cramped in here!"

"I'll just close the door behind me." He did just that and it instantly freed up more space. The teenager turned and faced the bear, staring into those big glassy eyes of his. As suspected, the zip connecting his head to his body was broken. "This is gonna take a bit of effort to undo. Don't you have another costume lying around somewhere in your world?"

"Uh, no. Besides, I like this one. It has the shiniest and silkiest fur. Plus, the inside is all snug and warm. And it smells just like me! If I got a new one, it'd take time to adjust to it and it wouldn't smell as good."

"Okay, I get it!" He didn't want the bear to continue his rant. "Well, why don't you just get the zip fixed?"

"W-wha? But it costs money… unless _you_ pay for-"

"Never mind." He shut the bear up before he said anything else that was stupid. Yosuke grabbed the zipper and attempted to unzip. "Damnit, bear! Why is it so hard to unzip this thing?"

"Rawrr, not so hard! My hair's caught in it!"

"Again? Sheesh." Yosuke yanked at the metal zipper once more but he couldn't get it to move. God, the things he had to do for this dumb bear. "You're driving me crazy, you know that?"

"H-huh? What do you mean?"

Yosuke leaned in and growled in a low voice. "I mean you annoy me, you stupid bear." He raised his voice once more to intimidate Teddie. "I'm only going to do this for you one more time, okay? I don't have the patience to continue helping you through this."

"But I thought we were best buddies! You know I can't depend on anyone else here!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know." The brunet held the bear in place with his arm and pulled the zipper again. _Curse this god-forsaken zip!_ He pulled again several times but his meagre efforts proved futile. "Why is this so hard?"

Teddie was strangely silent. He was unmoved and Yosuke felt as if the bear was looking into him from the inside of his costume. "Uhh, Yosuke?"

"What?"

"You're too close."

"Well, how else am I supposed to get this thing off of you? You have to do your business in the toilet right?"

"Yeah, so hurry it up."

_Telling me to hurry it up? Tch, damn bear._ "Fine, princess but be prepared to face the pain." With one powerful yank from Yosuke, Teddie lost his balance and toppled over, sending the brunet crashing into the door behind him. "Oww, my ass! Watch it, Teddie!"

"Sorry! It's just…you pulled too hard! You know I'm not that sturdy."

Yosuke grumbled, rubbing his sore bottom before giving the death glare to the bear. "How did you get the zip broken in the first place anyway?"

"I don't know…can you fix it?"

"No. Oh, wait! Yes!" _I know just the person who specializes in these things._ "Come with me!" Without warning, he pulled Teddie's arm but the bear toppled over again and bumped his head onto the wall. He let out a strange-sounding shriek before groaning in pain.

"Rawrr…"

"Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I'm gonna go see Kanji now. You coming?" Yosuke opened the door to the toilet stall and stepped outside, but he stopped midstep when he found a little girl standing just outside. It was Nanako but she was looking a bit paler than usual. "Oh, hey Nanako. Uh, what's wrong? You don't look so good."

"P-p…" The little girl stuttered. Her cheeks were growing beet-red and her eyes began to water.

"W-whoa. Are you okay?"

"Pervert!" And with that, Nanako ran through the hallway and disappeared into the crowd, leaving a very confused Yosuke behind and a bewildered Teddie.

"Uh…what just happened?" The bear waddled over to Yosuke's side.

"I have no idea…Nanako was just standing here, waiting for me-" But it wasn't long until realization struck a chord in his brain. "Oh…oh god no. This can't be happening to me…"

"What? What's happening to you?"

"You idiot! Don't you get it? She heard everything we said! And those noises we made…Arghhhh!" Yosuke followed Nanako's footsteps and dashed into the crowd of people. "Wait, Nanako! You're mistaken! I like girls! And I wasn't doing what you were thinking we did! Nanakooo!"

Before Teddie knew it, Yosuke had also disappeared into the crowd. The mascot pouted, feeling a bit disappointed. "He didn't even help me with this zip…oh, wait a second. There's another zipper inside here!" The Teddie inside the costume grabbed the metal tag with his fingers and unzipped the head off with ease. "Wow… that was easy!" The now-happy bear went back into the stall at last after all that effort.

"Wait till Yosuke hears about this! He's gonna be so surprised! But first, nature calls."

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A/N: Happy New Year!


End file.
